Nowadays, negatives have become a norm in working relationships and life. People often complain about things we couldn’t imagine ten years ago. In fact, according to a happiness survey conducted in 2022 and published on the APA website, some fifty-nine percent of people are negative today, while this percentage has been down to thirty-two ten years ago. The pace of life, the comparison between those around us and ourselves, social isolation, and the lowering number of close relatives make up the largest and most impactful group of factors that impact individual behavior. And there is no such thing as in the past that the social and professional level impacts the behavior. The negativity looks like it is spread across all groups and impacts people everywhere.
Still, according to the same research, negativity grows with the person’s downgrade. The lower the individual’s level of life and work hierarchy, the more hostile they become.
Still, if measuring impact, the negativity demonstrated by people on higher levels of social and professional leadership is more impactful toward the behavior, attitude, and environment.
After all, this is written. Recognizing negativity and separating it from a specific situational challenge can be crucial in turning the tendency in the individual’s close work and social circle. Now, let’s move forward with identifying the negative person and taking straightforward steps to deal with them to keep a balanced and neutral environment without creating or supporting negative environmental connotations.
To deal with negativity, leaders must first get into the knowing it better phase and then take action to minimize its impact. Here are some of the primary signs of negativity a person can show.
Distant from the regular groups
Negative people often close themselves and do not interact with others. They hide their negativity, trying to deal with it, but always finding that others do not see the behavior expressed as comfortable. After the quiet curtains of the negative people, a latent anger waits to be awakened. Quiet, eating alone, not sharing information about themselves, not interacting with others, building the walls of security to hide what they feel.
To deal with such behavior, the leader must first recognize it. Why am I saying that? Many years ago, I was introduced to extroverts and introverts. Inexperienced leaders and those not having the skills to recognize the difference often name the negative person – introvert. Instead of doing that, the leader must try to find what creates the distance that the person is demonstrating. That means getting into their life and pushing some sensitivity buttons. The more the leader pushes, the more precise the image of the person becomes.
Having moments of “true verbal aggression.”
No other person can be more faithful to their hidden aggression than the negative one. Often, it is seen as shooting words and phrases meant to hurt others, making assumptions, and setting “definitive limits.”
“It is the last time you are asking me to do that.”, “This is the end; show me where the blanks for a resignation letter are.” “Next time, I may not want to follow your direction.” These and similar phrases are to be heard from the person pushing their aggression to the bottom, too long. They overreact to show how meaningful their position is.
Not getting a long way up the hill, this behavior can cause profound dissatisfaction in the negative person and the others in the same environment. Reacting emotionally can be the most inappropriate action from the leader. Instead, they must calmly explain what teamwork means and how what is happening now is helping the business. At the end of the explanation, a short message that the environment demands will influence future actions. Still, not individual behavior is enough to show the person that they do something that violates the standard order of things and creates discrepancies that are hard to tolerate.
Acting toward others with no care
There is a real opportunity for someone negative to hurt others physically or with actions that cause inconvenience. For example, imagine that the leader has ordered everyone to work from a distant place for several days, and they expect the negative person to share this with their peers. What often happens is that the person “forgets” and causes their colleagues the inconvenience of traveling from home to the office and then returning home. What a lost time for productivity just because someone doesn’t care about others. It may look like an innocent action, mainly caused by stress and negligence, but it often is caused to show others that the negative person has control over their happiness. It looks mean, but it may be a desired call for attention.
For the leader to address this, emotions must be shut down. If the negative person in the room/the team reacts like this, the leader’s role is to point out what has happened and how that action impacted others with only logical facts. No accusations or emotions are allowed here. The less they are in the talk, the more balanced and constructive it becomes for both sides – the leader and the negative person.
Demonstrating “Physical aggression”
We tend to overlook this one, but a negative person, who doesn’t see any reaction to their behavior may turn into a real pain in the ass. The behavior may look like closing the door in front of the colleague, breaking their favorite coffee glass, putting their desk in chaos, throwing things, and even trying to hurt the other physically. While not meant on purpose, these actions may look odd and, at the same time, threatening to others. No one is insured against it. However, too many leaders still miss this behavior, thinking it will change over time. Unfortunately, the behavior deepens, and in some situations, it may turn into natural aggression with negative consequences for both – the negative person and the victim of the negative behavior.
It is in the hands of the leader how they will deal with the “physical aggression.” If the approach is passive watch, the problem may deepen and cause serious issues. On the other side, the active role is when the leader takes action – gives immediate feedback, and points out the behavior and how it makes others feel. The other step here is to explain the behavior toward team and company values, standards, and norms. Last, clearly explain how this behavior creates discrepancies and the following action steps if the behavior is identified again.
Bonus: Is it worth changing negative behavior?
What makes the negative behavior may be a small element or a series of actions happening in time. Finding the root cause of the behavior creates space for action on how to change it. Some of the situations created are changeable and worth investing time in. If such, the case may be easily transformable with a structured approach that relies on company and team values and norms. The leader’s active role and the team’s push in the right direction may help the situation improve.
On the other hand, the negative person is sometimes not ready to change. They see their behavior as usual and others reaction as overreaction. When this is the case, more radical action plan may be needed. When things look changeable and have a balanced risk of creating further discrepancy, it is ok to consider changing that behavior using time and other resources. However, when the discrepancy is too large, the leader must think critically and decide if the effort is worth it or if they may need to change the person.
It is up to the leader, their leadership style, tolerance, flexibility, and patience to decide how to act. Now, every leader should ask themselves and give an honest answer to the question, “Is it worth the effort, or do I have to move forward?”
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