EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE EXPLAINED IN A TAXI RIDE

Emotional intelligence is a strong topic today. People from all areas of business like journalists,  medics, psychiatrists, psychologists, business and personal consultants and coaches talk about it.  Often the judgment for a talent potential for development includes as a topic the one for the emotional development and growth.

Over the last 25 years, scientists have started to study why intellectual intelligence is not enough to predict if a person will be successful in a new role. They found that there is more that must be put on the table if organizations want to predict the level of success that a particular person will achieve when moving into a new role.  They have found that as much as important it is to manage your level of intellectual knowledge you must also focus on growing your emotional state if you want to be successful. People with a high level of emotional intelligence are those who can understand the physical, mental and even social impact that emotions can have on their bodies, minds, relationships,  abilities to achieve goals and quality of life.

In 1983 H. Gardner has published his Theory of Multiple Intelligences. He argued that people have more than one intelligence and that all types of intelligence a person has are cognitive by nature.

In 1990s Daniel Goldman has described the cons=cept of the Emotional intelligence in his book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. After his book, the term emotional intelligence became recognizable and widely used.

We are trying all the time to deal with our emotions. The ability to deal with emotions defines social and mental consequences for us as humans. In a study, conducted by the Swedish medic A.H. Gladuwish, there were assumptions made that people with a high level of emotional intelligence who are able to manage their emotions to achieve better health status, more success and happiness and better relationship with others.

People with a high level of emotional intelligence demonstrate feelings like motivation, focus,  fulfillment,  awareness, freedom, autonomy, appreciation,  connection, self-control, balance. Instead of this group, people with a low level of emotional intelligence fell more: loneliness, fear,  frustration, guilt, anger, obligation, dependence,  failure, victimization.

To be more successful and happy in life, we as people must learn how to develop our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence matters in our personal life, but is also an important driver for our perception in the workplace. When an individual didn’t get the chance to develop emotional intelligence it often gets stopped by setbacks. These setbacks can be delayed answers,  delayed or rejected promotions, exclusion from important workgroups, etc. When falling in such situations, individuals start feeling betroth, victimized,  left down,  excluded,  demotivated, demoralized, etc. 

Can you imagine a workplace full of employees with highly developed emotional intelligence? This type of environment will include:

  • Respect for everyone ideas;
  • Value-based decisions;
  • High value put on integrity;
  • Relationships in the workplace are positive and rewarding;
  • Employees potential is constantly developed and growing;
  • There are no gossips, etc.

Does this look like utopia for you? If your answer is YES, you are right. Despite some companies are trying to convince people that this is their way of working, there is no such thing as a 100% emotionally grown people.

If you as a leader has tried to define emotional intelligence =, you probably have faced several difficulties. These difficulties come from a complex understanding of emotional intelligence. There is no one definition that can explain what emotional intelligence is. Also, there is no one terminology that explains the essence of emotional intelligence.

I will try to help you understand this by giving you a short description of 3 widely used models, describing the essence of what emotional intelligence stands for.

THE ABILITY MODEL

This model explains emotions as information that is needed to establish social relationships.  It is important to understand that not all people can process emotional information on the same level and to relate it in a similar way to cognitive processes. This model proposes four basic types of emotional abilities:

  • Emotional perception – this is connected with individuals able to recognize emotions, express them in pictures, voices, or even faces, without being able to manage them.
  • Use of emotions – this is in the ability to use emotions to perform different cognitive actions. That is compelling with the ability to use a variety of moods to complete successfully different tasks required.
  • Emotional understanding – This is more connected with the ability to understand the shades of emotions that exist around and in you. This is also connected with the understanding of how emotions change and evolve during the time.
  • Emotional management – This is the ability to control and manage your own emotions and take control over another emotional state.
  •  

THE TRAIT MODEL

The modern 21st-century model is published in the first decade of the current century by Petrides and colleagues. It proposes that people have a number of self-perceptions and emotional traits. These traits are being measured by the person itself. The model explains that the person is able to accurately describes his or her own traits.

THE MIXED MODEL

This group of models is in described by  Daniel Goleman. Today this is the most accepted and used model. It includes a range of competencies, broken down into skills and combined in sets. Goleman’s competencies are described as follows:

  • Self-awareness – We know how we fill at a particular moment and we use our feelings to drive decision making. We have a realistic understanding of our abilities and a strong sense of self-confidence. Here Goleman puts
  • Emotional  self-awareness;
  • Accurate Self-assessment;

and

  • Strong self-confidence.
  • Self-managing – We handle our emotion so, that they facilitate what we do in our path to achieving a goal. In this pillar, there are such  factors as:
  • Self-control;
  • Adaptability;
  • Initiative;
  • Achievement orientation;
  • Trustworthiness;
  • Consistency;
  • Social awareness – This is connected with sensing what others are feeling. We are able to understand different situations from others point of view. We cultivate successfully our relationship with a wide range of people. To do this we use:
  • Empathy;
  • Organizational awareness;

and

  • Service orientation.
  • Social skills – When we start to handle emotions in range with other people we build a stronger relationship. We then become able to  read social interactions and act adequately in them  We use the skills set to:
  • Influence;
  • Build leadership;
  • Develop others;
  • Evolve communication;
  • Manage conflicts;

 and

  • Boost teamwork and collaboration.

The most important point in Daniel Goleman model is that all these competencies must be developed over time to help to develop and improving performance. So, you can continue to develop your emotional intelligence through your whole life.

IN CONCLUSION:

Going short on emotional intelligence is an approach that won’t help anyone to develop. Being familiar with different models can help people to understand the basic concept of emotional intelligence. But if you want to really grow up emotionally and influence others for positive change, you must study the different factors in the models to help you better understand them and use them to grow your and others around you emotional level positively.

I will offer you a short explanation of the mixed model, I have built during my professional experience and practice. Want to read it…

Then look at the next part of the emotional intelligence topic: Emotional Intelligence in real life to help you grow as a leader.

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